OK, so you've probably heard of ghosting, breadcrumbing, and orbiting by now. But do you know what "eclipsing" means? What about "white clawing" and "dial-toning"? Well, those are just three of the new dating terms that the dating app Plenty of Fish has identified as major trends for 2020. So, if you want to head into the new year swinging, you need to familiarize yourself with the love language of the future.
To answer that first question, eclipsing is when you pretend to like the same things that your crush likes. And, according to Plenty of Fish's survey of more than 1,000 users, nearly half of respondents (45 percent) have admitted to doing this in the past. It's a normal desire to want to find common ground, but eventually, the truth always comes out. Besides, you deserve someone who's going to love you for you, not some "idealized" version of you, right?
But even before you get to the dating part, you have to get someone's number. Has anyone ever given you their digits, only to then ignore you once you reach out? Sorry to tell you, but you've been dial-toned. According to the Plenty of Fish survey, 60 percent of singles have attempted to initiate a text exchange only to have their message go forever unanswered, and 35 percent have admitted to doing this to someone else.
Has someone you were once in a relationship with suddenly reached out to you to come to a friend's show, donate to their Movember fund, or sign a petition against climate change? Well, then you were the victim of cause-playing. Sixty-one percent of those surveyed said they've had someone break up with them only to then ask for a favor—and, while it may seem harmless, it can be pretty hurtful to get your hopes up when you see a message from someone who dumped you, only to realize that they just want something from you.
OK, now let's say it's Saturday night and you've gotten all dressed up for your date. You hear the phone vibrate and get all excited when you see that the object of your affection has texted you, presumably to tell you how much they can't wait to see you. Instead, it's some lame excuse about why they need to cancel 15 minutes before they were supposed to show up at your door. You, friend, have been glamboozled. Over half of singles (58 percent) have experienced this, and—while not a criminal offense—it's certainly a rude thing to do to someone.
We all know that Kanye West just loves talking about himself. So perhaps it's no surprise that being kanye'd means sitting through a date in which the other person does nothing but talk about themselves. If you've got the gumption, you should feel free to yellow card them, meaning call them out for their bad dating etiquette. Unfortunately, it seems only 27 percent of singles have actually done this, so speak up!
These days, it's easier than ever to read articles that help you figure out what your love language is and what your attachment style says about your relationships. As incredibly useful as this information is, you should also be cautious of type-casting. That's when you exclusively date people who fit the exact psychological profile of your blueprint for The One. It's good to be aware of yourself and what you're looking for, but you also never know who you'll fall in love with if you give someone a chance.
On the other hand, if you're with someone who you find really boring only because you think they're attractive, you're white clawing. Presumably this term comes from the name of the very popular hard seltzer brand White Claw. It's known for having just enough alcohol to get you buzzed but not enough to get you drunk. While that's great for spirits, nothing beats being with someone who you find intoxicating.
While many of these dating terms and trends seem to suggest that we're still throwing basic etiquette out the window, some of them do indicate a positive shift in the dating landscape. Shannon Smith, the head of public relations for Plenty of Fish, said in a statement that she believes the trends show that "more than ever, singles feel empowered to have honest discussions about what behavior is and isn't acceptable, and are being open about the things they're looking for." Well, at least that's something to celebrate!
And for more on dating today, check out: Offline Dating May Just Be the Hottest New Dating Trend.
Diana Bruk Diana is a senior editor who writes about sex and relationships, modern dating trends, and health and wellness.Read moreFiled UnderDating • News • Relationship AdviceRead This NextOver 40? Stop Using These Slang Terms Immediately
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